Phil’s Blog

Silence in the night

I awake not knowing if it’s day or night
All seem blurring my sight
In silence all alone
I will carry my plight
My heart to stone
My soul to foul
All alone in the dark

Tears drop like spark
Down my cheek to peek
Slowly forming a creek
Drowning me stark
As time approach
To stand and fight
Suddenly goes my fright

What does it mean to be free?

Free to do as I want?

Am I really free?

I am so limited by the form I have,

I cannot certainly fly, even if I wanted too

My only way is with a plane—

Nor can I swim under the sea as long as I want,

My only way is with a submarine,

So what does that mean to be free?

My consciousness does not let me be

In jail in the body it dwells

Giving the illusion that I am free

Free to obey the laws of man

Free to conform to the view of the masses

And if I dare not to obey, nor follow the way of society

Then my freedom is terminated.

Free to do good or bad, when my mind cannot see the difference

Man kills other man and calls it good when the man has a uniform on,

But bad if he doesn’t.

Am I free to think?

When my thoughts are the results of my up bringing.

Am I only free to follow my desires and wants?

And even those, I cannot recall

So tell me what is that Freedom, which soldiers are dying trying to protect?

Look up to the sky

Here I am, wondering why,

I cannot yet fly.

There I go, try and try

But to no vain, there I will die,

So don’t ask why,

There’ re no answers that can apply

Who am I, who am I?

Ask a voice inside

You’ re an old man

Trying to put an end

To the sorrow of a friend.

Can you tell me what is

The purpose of all this.

Time went by

Since I hold you in my arms

Saw your beautiful smile

Only memories hold in my mind

Wondering over an overlasting end

Wake up at dawn

Darkness is not yet gone

Hardly can I see the sky

So tired I am.

This poem was written in September 27, 1993

Strange isn’t it

For a man to think

How should he behave

When in love

Matters of the heart

They say it is

But he who feels

Knows it’s a nomad path

For love is a sword

Her power is the words

That may fill the heart and soul

With happy moments

Then pierces and destroys

Anything that was joy

With no mercy for the wounded boy

Why do I have to wonder

If it ’s love I feel

For you my sweet dear

Without letting myself fall under

The pressure of fulfilling my dream

To find a friend

A companion, a lover

Is there an end

To the way I suffer

Should I keep looking, searching

Or should I just let go

And yet follow the flow

“Sans Souci” for my sorrow

How strange it is

At my age to see

That all alone I stay

Without a purpose for a better day

What does a man need in this life

Food in his stomach

Clothes on his back

And all alone he can walk towards the light

Knowing that only death can take him apart

From love to death

What else is left

Only the sorrow of the soul

Waiting for the spirit to show

But without an answer to his prayer

He, all alone follows the path of the warrior

Not knowing what awaits

For the chance of success is slim

So no matter what you do

My friend, always

Remember, that me too

I am searching for the way

To achieve the purpose

Look around my friend

Ain’t no need to be sorry

Be happy and don’t worry

That’s the key to a wonderful end.

She stands still in the dark,
Waiting for the moment to strike.
Lady in the dark.
Like a black widow
Proceeding slowly across her web,
She entangles the heart and soul
Of a chilling prey.
Striking the fatal blow of fear.

Hypnotic eyes and forked tongue,
Thou come to spread death
In the souls of men.
Tight embrace in
Rings of fire,
Thou swiftly strike.
Deadly venom
Slowly flows in the veins.
Deep presses
On the heart.

My mother’s deep brown eyes
enveloped in a tender smile
mirrored an uncertain life.
Her sensuous lips slightly opened
showed through a well arranged
row of bright white teeth.
Her well defined pommettes
let us know of her origin.
Voluptuous dark hair
perfected her beauty.
Her hair she kept,
and her beauty remainded
till her death.
Now she’s gone
in heaven I know.
Dear
loving and caring mother.
In sickness and pain
You left my world.

I’ll remember always
that special night
May 1978.
On the east coast,
facing the Indian Ocean, I was.
Silently waiting in ambush formation,
adrenaline flowing, ready to fire
in a moment’s notice.
A noise was heard.
the enemy was near,
that’s what I thought.
But like a mirage in the desert,
the enemy couldn’t be seen anywhere.
Just a wild boar rummaging on his way.
My first night out, and
no battle to tell.

Freedom

What does it mean to be free?

Free to do as I want?

Am I really free?

I am so limited by the form I have,

I cannot certainly fly, even if I wanted too

My only way is with a plane—

Nor can I swim under the sea as long as I want,

My only way is with a submarine,

So what does that mean to be free?

My consciousness does not let me be

In jail in the body it dwells

Giving the illusion that I am free

Free to obey the laws of man

Free to conform to the view of the masses

And if I dare not to obey, nor follow the way of society

Then my freedom is terminated.

Free to do good or bad, when my mind cannot see the difference

Man kills other man and calls it good when the man has a uniform on,

But bad if he doesn’t.

Am I free to think?

When my thoughts are the results of my up bringing.

Am I only free to follow my desires and wants?

And even those, I cannot recall

So tell me what is that Freedom, which soldiers are dying trying to protect?